12:38 pm. Kalyan slow local from CST. The first class ladies compartment. After enduring 2.5 hours of travelling, 2 hours of French class and a 20 minute bus ride in the sizzling heat of Mumbai, I get into the train hoping for a quiet 1 hour journey back home. 5 seconds before the train leaves the platform, two ladies with 4 kids jump into the compartment. Any promises of tranquility and peace that the compartment once held were all shattered. Let me profile the two ladies
Lady 1 : Extra fair, a few extra pounds, dressed in a blinding pink/orange dress, LOUD voice, piercing voice, zero manners, 100 % attitude
Lady 2 : Extra fair, a few extra pounds, dressed in soothing beige, loud on some occasions but otherwise soft spoken.
The Scene : Lady 1 constantly (in a very high pitched loud nasal voice) shouting at the kids, grabbing them roughly by the arm to make them sit in one place. Lady 1 eating the chips as if it were prey. I obviously gave a look of quiet disapproval
Now this is where it all began :
Lady 1 tries to throw a wrapper of chips outside from the train window
Me: Aunty, nahi nahi, bahar mat fekiye
Lady 1 : (turns head back, bearing gr8 resemblance to a gunda who has just been insulted) WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM !??!
Me : Aunty, you shouldnt throw garbage outside the window
Lady 1 : WHAT is your problem ?
Me : My problem is that the space outside is not a dustbin and you being an educated person are dirtying my city.
Lady 1 : SO ?!?!?
Me : It's not yours to dirty
Lady 1 : It's not yours either
Me : Instead of being so arrogant you should simply apologize and then throw the wrapper in a dustbin at the station
Lady 1 : What will happen if I throw it out ? What's your problem huh ?!?!
Me : (very angry at this point) If you throw it out, you'll be dirtying the city, there'll be more piled up garbage, more dieases, the plants will choke and die, Mumbai will become hotter, there'll be more floods in the city, people like you will get stuck in them and then ultimately blame the government. Do you need any more reasons ?
Lady 1 : Give me one more
Me : (Thinking how ridiculous the lady sounds) Alright. Why dont you do one thing ? Give me all those wrappers and I'll follow you to your house and together we'll dump it on you floor. I'm sure that'll give you all the reasons you're looking for. How about that ?
At this point Lady 2 intervenes
Lady 2 to me : We're sorry, we'll throw it in a dustbin
Lady 2 to Lady 1 : Pakdo haath mein
Lady 1 to me : You think you're too smart, dont you ?
Me : Yes, smarter than you at least.
Lady 1 : Do you have a problem with me ?
Me : (super-irritated, wondering if thats the only question she knows) Yes, I do. In fact I cant believe you're behaving this way in front of your kids. Imagine what kind of an example you're setting before them.
Kid 1 : (Tugging at Lady 1's sleeves) Mummy, bag mein rakh do naa, mummy....
Lady 1 turns her face away from me muttering curses under her breath. It was Chinchpokli by the time this conversation ended !!!!!
Well, the wrapper didnt go out of the window, at least not till I was in the train (I did keep an annoyingly close eye on her).
I wonder what she did with it.