Friday, March 24, 2006

7 Things that you Learn while watching a Cricket match at Wankhede stadium…

1.Swearing and making obscene gestures at anybody and everybody is considered cool

2.When there’s a drink break or lunch break, a spectator (Indian spectator ) should not waste time. Instead they should single out a firang (foreigner) and start using swear words.

3.When a beautiful foreign girl with minimal clothing walks past you, one should start yelling in chorus “Item” “Item” “Item” !!!!

4....And when the foreigners cannot take it any longer and start leaving that particular stand, the spectators in that stand should say together “Sorry, Sorry” !!! (...only so that the foreigners stay so that after a while they can be abused again)

5.Yuvraj Singh drops most catches at the boundary because he’s usually listening to what the crowd has to say about him and Kim Sharma.

6.When any fielder drops a catch or there is a mis-field or if an Indian batsman gets out for a duck, the spectators should start yelling in chorus “We want Saurav” (as if he is the panacea to the Indian cricket team’s problems)

7.When Sehwag or Sreesanth come near the boundary line, first the spectators should shout out their names in chorus.....and then after a while they should point fingers at the player and yell “Loser, loser” I’m still wondering what triggers this paradoxical behaviour !??! Puzzling, isn’t it ???

Well, my experience watching a cricket match in a stadium for the first time was a bit of a shock really. I still wonder what satisfaction the crowd derives out of using foul language and abusing some foreigner whom you don’t even know. It gives such a bad impression about India. Most of the slogans were not to encourage India. But were mainly to demean someone who has absolutely nothing to do with the match. I for one was thoroughly disgusted.

The one thing I enjoyed was the Mexican waves.....that was funnn !!!! And besides that the company for Preeti, Shruti, Anuj and Giri.

Anyway, I just hope that if you’re reading this and if you were one of those obscene and extremely rude idiots in the stadium, then maybe you should think about overcoming you sense of insecurity, rectifying some major flaws in your personality and above all showing some respect to both - the teams and other spectators !!!!


Thrivin said...

some things i'd like to add, from my personal experience...

"A few things to note when attending a cricket match of South Africa vs. India here in Durban at Sahara Kingsmead Stadium, or attending an A1 Grand Prix race in Durban" :

1. When considering the fact that Durban is the largest Indian population outside of India, it is apparently 'treason' to support South Africa, even though it is your own country and the one you love so much.

2. Do not, under any circumstances, yell out "India sucks!!" loudly, when you have no immediate access to an escape route.

3. It's quite acceptable to try and talk Hindi to impress those surrounding you. There is no'one to correct you or tell you're a fake, coz no-here understands it anyway.

4. Castle Lager, a proudly South African beer, is not welcomed very well since it has nothing to do with India.

5. If you aren't Indian, you will be assumed to be supporting South Africa, and will be jeered at by things like 'you stupid dutchman', and the like.

6. When at the A1 GP, you must stand in the front of a huge crowd of Indian people and brag about how your car is even faster than the F1 cars, though you have no means of proving it. Besides, cars that fast aren't allowed on SA roads. But they don't know that.

7. From personal experience, do not loudly put down India's driver by saying "The only time India makes a pit-stop is to change his CD." If you must, be sure you are well-armed and have a valid exit point.

8. It is considered quite proper protocol to pick a fight for no reason with another Indian, over the fact that you apparently have the loudest sound system in the area, and if anyone has any comments, you apparently "got for them."

9. Please do not bring old ladies who do not know a thing about A1 to the GP, since all they do is take up seating and repeatedly say "Ayo, we forgot the roti's" when nobody cares a flying shit about food, when there are models in front of you parading with really fast cars.

miss you babe


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